Comments and Reviews

Here are all of the comments and reviews of my Redwall and Riala stories I've saved. Some have been lost due to the Redwall Fanfiction Board's hack-and-wipe a couple years back, and others were lost when someone decided Vengeance Quest wasn't PG-13 and got it deleted from Fanfiction.Net with barely a warning to me. Fortunately, I had most of the comments and reviews saved to a text file for safe keeping. So here they are, both the good, the bad, and the uncertain.

Reviews of Seekings of the Heart

  • RiftOtterOfSouthStream - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Wow. This is freaking awsome. I haven't been this enthuised for a piece of fiction to be updated since my wait for the last Dark Tower book.
    I knew that you had often said that when you finished VQ you'd go on to write about Riala's time with ... Aolerian(I forgot his name)?
    This is some of the best writing I've seen in awhile, and the fast pacedness of it makes it a fun and light read.
    Kiern and Astarte, loving them. And Riala is being pulled off as a dark and emotionless killer better in this story than in any of your others (with the possible exception of a few threads at FR.)
    The only problem I have with this, is because after that extremely lacking ending of VQ, it seems like this is being written with a huge part missing.
    I mean, we know the ending to VQ, but since it wasn't up to your regular writing skills, and it was rushed... it seems as if you didn't really end VQ at all, simply told us /how/ you would end it.
    Anyway, loving this story so much, and I hope that you stick with it and finish it, regardless of whether or not you ever revise the VQ ending.
    Good like with NaNo.
  • Topaz Blackthorn - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    *Dances in glee* Tis a sequel! 'Tis more about Riala Goldentail! And she's better than ever!
    She is. I had a bit of a problem with her characterisation in VQ, but she comes across well here. Having read Soulfires I have a vague idea of what will happen. And... I'm scared. Riala's been through enough already, does it really have to end so terribly? I know it's already happened in an RP, but... well... couldn't you change it or something? I know I sound stupid. But I really do not want Riala further damaged... Is she ever going to find resolution?
    Excellently written and characterised - particularly liked the hedgehogs. Bloodmoon always seemed a bit cliche and underdeveloped. You may have to work on her. But Kiern and Astarte work. Like the idea of them trying to stop their relationship from getting in the way of military formality... Haven't really seen enough of them yet to comment, but what has appeared looks good. I hope Astarte gets a major role.
    For some reason I have a very strong image of Aeloin as a heterosexual squirrel Stormsong. This would make sense, complementing Riala's toughness... but I am puzzled by the reference to "forbidden love." My best guess is that he falls in love with a vermin, possibly one of the Nighthunt, but that's just me trying to predict the future. Or of course it could be another male. But I doubt that. Once was probably enough.

Reviews of Storm's Song

  • Skay J - fanfiction.net
    *Applauses, and stuffs another Hershey Kiss in her mouth, not that the later had anything to do with the review* Wow. Very powerful. Still can't think of anything to say. Simply, keep it up, please? You keep writin', an' I'll keep readin'.

Reviews of Stolen Song

  • Highwing's Review of Stolen Song
    Highwing posted a review of Stolen Song once that utterly made my month. It's a bit long, as are most of his reviews, so it's on a separate page.
  • Highwing's Terrouge Fanfiction Review of Stolen Song
    Highwing also wrote a Terrouge fanfiction review article on Stolen Song as well. It's a full length article, so it's also on a separate page.
  • Valor Boldstripe - Terrouge
    In a word, excellent.
    In more, I've always liked this story. The hinted suggestion of an attack sexual in nature, rather then a disgustingly graphic account, really did it for me. Of course, I pleed bias. I like sad, angsty stuff. Great!
  • Mad Philosophes - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Stolen Song is very nifty (and certainly not too raw to read) -- the poetry really adds to it, as well. I thought the ending was all right, personally, save, I suppose I couldn't see the character finding what she needed at Redwall. The character is simply too real -- kinda like Riala -- while Redwall is almost of symbol of unreality, an idyllic sort of place. She can stop there, but not stay there, yet. Or something. Er. Rather sad, really -- I suppose I'm going to make my usual "complaint" -- I'd like it longer. But I always do.
  • Keyla - Terrouge
    Anyway, I kind of wish I hadn't read the review before the piece; I just can't resist spoilers, I guess. I was still really impressed, though. As Wing said, the prose is really beautiful. Snowspine has a really interesting voice: it's poetic but quite modern in the way it seems so free and almost liberal in form while still being clear as crystal.
    The story itself is very touching and its "stance"- I don't really know a better word- fits with Brian's. It's not a bad thing that the villain came off strongly as the villain and the victim as a victim. It's the way Redwall is written and this piece works on the same illusion of "black and white" that the series itself does. Whether this is psycologically realistic is somewhat by-the-by as it's not the point: just as a mirror can only show a two dimentional reflection of a three dimentional reality, so writing can only aim to give a limited expression of a limitlessly complex reality. As an expression of a situation this short story works admirably.
    • Highwing: I really don't think "Stolen Song" is quite as traditional as you make it sound. Certainly the writing style maintains the Redwall voice, but both the central subject and the fact that the villain turns out to be a squirrel distinguish it most sharply from BJ's works. Snowspine does much the same during the early chapters of her magnum opus "Vengeance Quest" - keeping a very Redwally feel to the events and the prose even after she begins to challenge the official conventions with such twists as a vixen goodbeast and a squirrel protagonist who may just be as ruthless as any vermin. That story remains unfinished, which is one reason I chose to review "Stolen Song" at this time - it was a way to spotlight Snowy's talents by highlighting one of her shorter works. Hopefully, Terrouge will one day be running my review of "VQ." Until then, this will have to suffice.
      • Keyla: Of course, it doesn't play by the conventions of woodlander=good, vermin=evil and seems to play towards the idea of deceptive appearances. However, while it moves away from the conventions of typical Redwall, it is still black-and-white in that the villain is villainous and the victim utterly victimised and in that sense it stems from the reality that in the world no-one, no matter what they've done, is incapable of good and everyone, while sometimes a victim, is at some time also a perpertrator of a crime. While in that sense it's not psycologically "realistic", other aspects of reality are well conveyed. It's not really a criticism, rather an observation regarding the choices made the author.
  • Lilac - Terrouge
    It was much shorter than I expected. The writing style was certainly very interesting. I understand what you mean by "crystal clear." A lament, I suppose you'd call it. Very good stuff. There are one or two places where flowery language could have been cut back on, and honestly I found the description of the assault too delicate. Obviously I didn't want graphic, but a little bit more detail might have - well, helped to explain things, help with empathy I suppose. It seemed more or less skipped over.
    The story was a bit short and unanalytical for my taste, but I'd have to say the writing was brilliant. Empathetic and atmospheric. And Snowy did do a fine job of PG-rating it.
  • Rustiredd - fanfiction.net
    What can I say that I haven't said already? 'Tis a great mix of story and poetry, different in an attention-grabbing way, and because I'm Your Favo(u)ite Sadist, I loved it! I'm still making plans for Furis's grisly death, by the way. Keep on rocking and stop beating me to all the best ideas! ^_____^
  • Psycho Violinist of Silentwood - fanfiction.net
    Good! Keep on Writing!
  • Starose - fanfiction.net
    If you want a spooky story, you've got one... Freaked me out! However, 'twas very nice writing. So angsty and mysterious...
  • Cornflower Fieldmouse - fanfiction.net
    Does it continue??? Please make it continue! It's so good!
  • Mira the Wildcat Wanderer - fanfiction.net
    This is...wow...good...very good! Very descriptive. It's tough to find stories like this. I really like it. Please continue it! Pretty pretty please! :)
  • Firefilly - fanfiction.net
    That was extremely good! Very sad but it has a hopeful ending.... I like it. Keep up the good work. =D
  • clara200 - fanfiction.net
    very good rape is not a topic that is very common here.

Reviews of Soulfires

  • kallinde - fanfiction.net
    OH MY GOD, that was SO SWEET! It was lonely and depressing and stuff (which I love) but at the same time had a lighter tone underneath the surface...The poem was so pretty... I don't usually write reviews to anything unless I think it's REALLY GOOD...which this is...SEQUEL!!!!!!!!
  • Yamishimo - fanfiction.net
    Very dramatic. That also went into Riala's past and emotions connected to it. Brought a tear to me eye. Why do the good warriors lose their true love?

Reviews of Vengeance Quest

  • Redwall Fanfiction Review: Snowspine's "Vengeance Quest" - Highwing
    Highwing writes a series of fanfiction reviews for the Redwall e-zine Terrouge. He wrote a wonderful review of Vengeance Quest once; it's a little long, so I'm linking to it.
  • Reviews from Tari (Mad Philosophes)
    Tari wrote some lengthy reviews; they go on a separate page for their length and wonderfulness.
  • Reviews from Moorefleck
    On the Redwall Fanfiction Board, an individual named Moorefleck posted some fairly extensive reviews.
  • Fanfiction.Net Drama!
    The comment that ended up with Vengeance Quest being taken down for inappropriate rating, and various comments and amusement surrounding the issue.
  • I Finished Vengeance Quest!
    The comments, reviews, and conversation immediately following my completion of Vengeance Quest.
  • Laburnum Steelfang - fanfiction.net
    • Hi. I wasn't going to read this story at first, because I thought it would just be another regurgitation of the book series. I was wrong. This is a great story. Your plotline is interesting and original - not simply a ripoff of one of the original books - and your characters are believable. I hereby dub Riala Goldentail "NOT A Mary Sue" - a high honour from a Protector of the Plot Continuum. (Check Bubonic Woodchuck's fic "PPC: Mossflower Division" or if you don't know who the Protectors are, or if you don't know what a Mary Sue is. Now you can put "PPC Recommended" in your summary!) I can see Vengeance Quest becoming a fandom classic.
      It's nice to see you don't fall into the trap of "bad guy dies and everything's automatically all better." That happens in many, many books, and it's a real pet hate of mine. Your ending is much more realistic - well done. (With apologies to those who LIKE happy endings.) And it's good to see someone else who knows that just because you're GOOD doesn't make you NICE.
      I hate to play devil's advocate, but I think you were right to re-rate this R. The events of chapter seven aren't written too graphically, but they squicked me anyway (which is weird, because I have read way more graphic yuck than that before and barely flinched. Maybe it's just your writing style ;)) I don't think the story should have been reported to the Powers That Be for it without the person warning you, however. I once got something removed without a warning, so I know how you felt. Lucky we both had our stuff backed up. (I'm working on a website to host mine on.)
      A minor nitpick - in chapter 4 you refer to a fox as a mustelid. The word you're looking for is "vulpid". Mustelids are weasels etc.
      I also have to point out the fact that you have uploaded chapter six twice and missed out chapter five entirely. (I read chapter five on your website.)
      At Chains Of Hate, you mention that people can borrow Riala if they ask you first. Does this hold for your other characters? If it does, can I borrow them as long as I plug your fic? It won't actually turn up until I've got my website built, which will probably be months, but I'd like to know now. I'll add a disclaimer in large print saying the characters are yours and I'll send you a link.
    • Yo, it's me again. I gave you that really long review a long time ago, remember? Just been flicking through again and had a few thoughts, mainly about the vermin characters.
      1) When Kiern overhears Stormsong and Skyfire having their little heart-to-heart, something about Stormsong's side of the dialogue made it sound like he liked *Skyfire*. At least I thought so the first time I read it. He does screech to a halt when she confesses she loves Kiern. I can't help but wonder if she noticed that and misinterpreted it.
      2) After reading "Secrets of the Horde" at Chains of Hate, I had visions of an "alternate ending" to Stormsong's goodbye to Kiern - Kiern looks surprised and thinks "What just happened?", then looks down to find that Stormsong has picked his pocket. Does this mean I have a sick sense of humour, or just that I should stop watching those TV out-takes shows?
      3) Why, why, WHY do I picture Stormsong as wearing glasses even though I looked at the picture of him on your website and therefore know he doesn't?
      BTW, my website is up now if you want to see it.
  • Hisk - Long Patrol Forums
    It really flows nicely. Something I could never do with my stories. Geuss its a matter of style. Good work!
  • Highwing - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Earlier this week, over the course of a couple of nights, I went back and re-read Snowspine's wonderful "Vengeance Quest" from the beginning. I'd actually only read the first two chapters previously, so chapters 3 & 4 were new to me. Also, keep in mind that most of these chapters are long enough to qualify individually as novelettes, if not novellas; hey, it took me two nights to catch up on this story, and that's a lot of reading...
    I knew when I first read the first two chapters way back when that I really, really liked this tale, but I'd forgotten just how good it is. I'd say "VQ" probably surpasses any other piece of RFF I've ever read - even Anna's superb "Bellmaker Sequel" - in terms of its faithfulness to the genre and similarity in tone, content, writing quality and plot to BJ's official novels. If you're one of those RFFers who has not yet grown disillusioned with the series and you're looking for a prime example of traditional RFF writing, go read "VQ" if you haven't already. I can guarantee you won't be disappointed.
    And Snowspine, please do keep the story coming, even if it's only one small new scene every week or two. Now that I've gotten back into it, I really want to see where you go with this.
  • Highwing - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Since it had been so long since I last perused any of "VQ," I just re-read all of Chapter Six from the beginning, even though I'd read a lot of it previously. Wow! The technical quality of your writing remains outstanding, with great characters, plot, description and action. I liked the way you only revealed the nature of Nightdeath's "recruitment" technique in bits and pieces - very effective, and all the more powerful when the reader finally gets to the climax. In a way I think it's good that you had to break up the scenes with the Nighthunt into two chapters; cramming so much into one chapter probably would have been totally overwhelming. You'd said you wanted to portray horde existence to a depth and degree that was rarely seen in fanfics, and I think you've succeeded magnificently. (Gasp! An adverb!) If Chapter Seven turns out even half as well as what I just read ... well, I can't wait! More, Snowy, more! No pressure, though ... ^_~
  • Miacis - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Your villians are excellent, Snowspine. They're characters with complex emotions and layered personalities who are every bit as smart and competent as the protagonists. These are exactly the types of villians that Brian Jacques needs to write into his novels if he wants people to continue buying his books. Although his current style of writing, with it's one-dimensional, caricatured characters, was endearing for the first few novels, it simply does not have the substance to last. Jacques wrote to a reader who voiced similar concerns that he didn't want readers to sympathise with the villians. Still, it is much better to have layered, competent antagonists who have a serious chance of overcoming the protagonists and whom the readers can sympathise with (Think Boba Fett or Catwoman) than simple, ineffectual ones.
    Another commendable quality of your writing is that Riala, your protagonist, is far from perfect. Jacques excuse for his omnipotent heroes is that he wants you to support them. But we've all seen how much readers love dark or anti heroes, from the Punisher to Bloodrayne to the RFF's own Sunswift. Heroes who doubt themselves, face inner conflict, commit their own sins, or even go insane add enormous depth to storylines. Great job on VQ so far, I'm sure we're all looking forward to the next chapter!
  • Seadog Driftwood - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Wow. I love it. What else is there to say? Snowspine, Vengence Quest is brilliantly written and captivates the reader.
    A few little notes, though:
    1) In Riala's fight versus the rat couple, you made the male a weasel at one point when the fighting just starts.
    2) When Riala reverts to her Northern accent the first two times, you use the same phrase when she does so.
    3) What happens to Longclaws' chest wound in the last chapter?
    Other than that, I'm amzed at the quality of the story. I can hardly wait until the next chapter.
    • I am cetainly interested. Astarte seems to mirror the character of Boneflower before she was killed. However, she was only seductive toward Royskatt, who may or may not have accepted it. I hinted that he at least somewhat did, if not fully. Is she going to be killed too? Just curious.
      A fox who thinks he is Death? Death ought to die with his own scythe.
      I am awed.
  • Darth Tabby - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    The part of chapter seven that you eventually added to chapter six IS rather different from the next part. Is Skyfire going to be leaving soon, or is it going to be a while longer before she gets pushed over the edge?
    Who here thinks Nightdeath deserves to get a claymore shoved up his anus? (That may not be how he's going to die, but it would hurt, wouldn't it?) Not entirely sure the new events made Nightdeath much more despicable in my view after the last chapter, though. Ack. Who knows?
    Could I recommend adding a content warning to VQ?
  • Darth Tabby - Redwall Fanfiction Board
    Not much nitpicking this time, but there was something that really stood out...
    Part of this had me confused: “A wolverine killed my father through treachery,” she said flatly. “Nightdeath Longclaws and her horde. I swore revenge.”
    Isn't Longclaws male?
    Anyway, other than that, you're writing is darn good -do you spend a lot of time going over stuff, or something? Also, you've good with accents -do you mind giving me a few tips on how to do those?
    Now, a few notes:
    What Riala did to Skyfire: I still have sympathy for Riala after reading that, actually. Pity, perhaps?
    On the other hand, I still don't have much love for Nightclaws. Despite what you say you've been trying. But then do you really want people feeling real sympathetic towards Longclaws?
    I'm thinking that meeting Longclaw's captains influenced how I've been writing Leutre. I've started introducing some high-level officers in my work.
    Anyway, good job and good luck in the future.
    • My Reply: Oops! Yes you're right, that's supposed to be "his horde"....eek! Dunno what I was thinking when I typed that...fingers must've been ahead of my mind or something.
      Thanks for the compliment on writing, but no, I don't spend a lot of time going over stuff. I write everything out on paper first--though I do edit as I go along (which is not a good thing, but I can't help myself). If you saw my VQ notebook you'd see lots of scratched-out lines. Sometimes whole paragraphs. Then I sort of edit as I type up the story; if I find a line that doesn't feel right I'll sometimes reword as I type. But that's it. No editing beyond that. (Which is why there's so many little errors all over the place...) VQ probably won't get edited, either; it's more a chronicle of my writing progress than anything else. If I were to publish a story then I'd edit that story, but this is fanfic, so...
      As for accents--I'm glad you think they're realistic, but I have to say it comes from feel and intuition. Not something that can be taught. For northland accents, I usually say the words in my head, trying to imitate a scottish accent, and then write it somewhat phonetically. For everything else...I'm not sure how I do it. Practice, I suppose, and a lot of reading.
      Oh yay, someone who isn't completely disgusted with Riala after reading the Skyfire bit! ^.^ And you actually picked up on who the stoat fem was. Very nice.
      As for the Longclaws... well, I'm not entirely sure I want him being a sympathetic character. Maybe Kiern and Skyfire and a couple others are enough. But I am going to include stuff later on to make him at least the slightest bit understandable, in some ways...maybe even pitiable. *I* pity him, at least, with what I know about him--but he has to be hated as well. This whole chapter's going to be a major challenge. Like balancing on a knife's edge, to use a cliche.
      And I am going to have to ask you to clarify about the rabbits... if a bit hesitantly. ^^; What exactly do you mean by it's bad that they fit?
      • Darth Tabby: Actually, it's not really a bad thing. But have you noticed that in the actual Redwall novels rabbits aren't taken very seriously? It's about the same with yours.
  • blankey_boy - Long Patrol Forums
    it is great but i hate the part where skyfire got tortured to death... mustabroke keirn's heart... Poor stormstrong, he healed keirn bak by longclaws just excueted him, if it wasent for him, kiern will be dead.
    By far it is the best fanfic 4 redwall i ever read( apart from this martin+rose fic i am reading) Pretty nice
  • piewolvesandsuch - fanfiction.net
    *Turns in disbelief to other people*. WHY ARE YOU NOT REVIEWING THIS? This is, without a doubt, one of the best Redwall fics I've ever read. Especially this chapter. . .it was so well written, you could feel Stormsong's pain. Absoltuley wonderful. Please update soon.
  • hezzer1414 - fanfiction.net
    This is an amazing story! I love the way you've written it. Please update soon.
  • Orcus Ferre - fanfiction.net
    Wow! That was an amazing story. Keep up the good work.
  • Crown - fanfiction.net
    The entire story, especially chapters 7 and 8, are simply superb. However, I am somewhat confused about what becomes of Kiern and co. after the battle. Also, what happens to Astarte? You never finish the battle between her and the otter captain.
  • justelphaba - fanfiction.net
    I haven't seen that many good redwall fanfics, but this is great. it's gotten better as it's progressed. The style keeps to brian jacques (which is a hard thing to do; he's amazing) but has your own personal flair to it. enough to make it an original.
    keep it up!
    (just random, you don't have to take it at all if you don't want to, but just something to think about.) riala's full name is riala goldentail. malaya just has a first name. since you said she was ginger colored, maybe her second/last name could be gingerbrush or something like that. malaya gingerbrush, or gingertail. just an idea, fuel for thought in case you wanted to give her a second part to her name.
  • forrest - fanfiction.net
    • yeehaa! good chapter! or good 3 chapters. or 4, i cant remember. so anyway, keep writing! (and het riala a dirk or short sword or something.)
    • Oh, cmon. drizzt? from baldurs gate and the forgotten realms? the drow elf person? oh, please. dont use him! just make a diffrent otter
    • My reply: Forrest ~ I used Drizzt because he was an otter someone roleplayed in the same Redwall RPG I played Riala in - the Wanderers of Mossflower. I didn't realize the name belonged to a published character until after writing that portion of Vengeance Quest.
    • oh... riala killed skyfire,... ouch
 

 
   

Riala Goldentail is © Snowspine (Danielle Higgins).  Redwall is © Brian Jacques.  Please do not use Riala in any stories, etc without first getting my assent.  I'll probably let you use her in your story, but I'd like to know that you're writing her into one and I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me first.