Highwing's Review of Stolen Song

Long overdue, I know, but then again so is just about everything I do these days.

I just read "Stolen Song" for the third time (read it once shortly after it was posted, then again last night, then just now). The story is fresh in my mind, but even more than that, I also just read your in-depth comments for Jason's "Bennegaris." The juxtaposition of those two had me looking for things in my latest reading of your story that I wouldn't normally pay attention to; I was being much more analytical in terms of noticing sentence structure and other technical aspects, as opposed to the plot, character and dialogue things that I usually dwell upon when reading a fanfic.

Well, I'm finally ready to admit that you are a better writer than I am, Snowy. Your studious avoidance of passive voice, along with your meticulously perfect choice of wording in almost every sentence, combine to make your RFF the most engaging and readable on the Board. I always knew based on "VQ" that you were a superb writer, but now I'm getting a handle on just why that's so. Technically, you are a virtuoso with words the same way that a classically-trained musician is with notes. But it's not enough to just know the mechanics; notes are not the music, any more than words are the tale, and you amply demonstrate that you realize this. You are able to place your mastery of spelling, grammar, sentence structure and vocabulary at the disposal of your storytelling, creating works that are near-flawless and fraught with emotion. That is a true gift, and one that you have to a greater degree than I do. Maybe if I concentrated a little harder on my own narratives ... but it would be you showing me the way ...

As to the story itself ... It definitely improves upon repeated readings, as most good stories do. When I first read it I was focused mainly upon the content, theme and emotional connection that I look for in any work of fiction - i.e., how does it hit me on a gut level? Your handling of the subject matter is wonderfully subtle, making the tale appropriate for all ages, although younger readers might miss the crux of exactly what it is that happened to your protagonist. Still, for such an "untouchable" subject as rape, this is kept about as faithful to the Redwall universe as it could possibly be. My initial reaction? A very good story, and very well written, but not a tour de force by any means. But then, re-reading it last night and revisiting the characters and their situations, I got a lot more out of it. But even then I was still reading it from an emotional and plot-oriented viewpoint. It wasn't until my third reading that I realized and fully appreciated just how good a story it is, how your technical ability is so thoroughly at the command of your storytelling. I've never really analyzed a fanfic sentence-by-sentence like that, and it was an eye-opening experience.

I'd like nothing better than to quote some examples of what makes your writing here so professional (and that was my original intent) but I then realized that nearly every paragraph of the story contains at least one quote-worthy sentence. The description and narrative flow of the entire first paragraph is perfect, and that style continues throughout the story. "Stolen Song" could literally be used as a "how-to" primer for aspiring RFF writers, showing them what to do and what not to do.

Your use of the verses between the prose was suberbly handled, not to mention that the poetry itself was excellent. Often when a writer employs either flashback or interspersed poetry within the body of the story, results can be mixed and confusing. That you resort to BOTH and still pull it off is commendable. (I will say, however, that my appreciation of these techniques in "Stolen Song" definitely did increase after repeated readings, and is probably the main reason I like the story more now than when I first read it.)

Neat that you were able to slip the Nighthunt into this. And is the Riala who's mentioned in passing the same one from "VQ?" Does this story even fit into the "VQ" timeline, or does it stand apart as a totally separate story? Not that the tale would be diminished either way ...

So much more I could say ... the oppressive feeling of desolation and exhaustion when we first see the lone squirrel trudging across the tundra ... the poignant glimpses of her mother and father in the dream flashbacks, and their protective concern over her ... the gradual transformation of Furis from a rogue into a villain ... the symbolism of dance and music to represent what was lost ... and probably much more that I'm either forgetting or am just to overwhelmed to mention. Rather than quote the entire story (which I could very easily do) I'll just implore everyone here to go read it for themselves - THAT is the ultimate commentary.

Keep on writing, Snowy - this Board would be much the poorer without your contributions!

-Highwing